Nov 295 min read

The Key to Happiness While Adjusting to Expat Life

Do you ever feel like you'll never be happy or content as a new expat? I've been an expat in Dubai for over 2 years and I still have feelings of discontent at times. The other day, I was taking a walk through The Springs (as I try to do most days), I realised something that I think I'd known subconsciously, but hadn't quite understood the impact. For many people moving abroad (especially to the Middle East), its not about "settling in" to their new environment and suddenly being happy, especially if that environment is contradictory to some of their core values. It's about coming to terms with the fact that you've moved abroad for an opportunity that would positively impact your and your family's future.

For many people, Dubai represents their dream life: It's the height of luxury, with weekly brunches, sunny beach days and gourmet dining as standard. For others, its a superb career opportunity, with tax advantages, increased salary and faster career progression - work hard to play hard. But this isn't the case for many. It can be challenging to overcome some of the environmental issues involved in making such an arid place habitable, unbearable summer heat and a lack of greenery and nature. So, when you've made the decision to take up the opportunity and emigrate here as a family, how can you overcome this contradiction to your values, while keeping your sanity?

In this post, I'm going to take you through some ways of coping and find the key to happiness, which I hope will help you to come to terms with your decision and keep your eye on the prize that was the reason you moved in the first place.

Acknowledge Your Progress

It’s easy to get pulled down by negative feelings when so much change is going on. Your brain will automatically hold onto negative experiences and thoughts much more readily than positive ones - I guess this is some sort of protection mechanism or something. But how often do you actually stop and think about how far you’ve come?

Progress isn’t always about achieving a grand milestone; it’s about recognising the smaller steps along the way. Perhaps you’ve figured out a short cut on the school run, found a new favourite recipe, or made a new friend. These are all worth celebrating.

Take a moment to pause and reflect:

Jot down daily or weekly achievements in a little notebook.
Make a list of all the things you've done so far, that have made progress - even the small things.
Set up a call with a close friend from home, and share your small achievements. Share them with your husband too and ask him about his.

Acknowledging progress helps you see the big picture. You’re not standing still—you’re moving forward, even if it’s one small step at a time.

Celebrate Small Wins

In the midst of adapting to a new environment, you might forget to pat yourself on the back. But celebrating your wins, no matter how small, builds confidence and reinforces positive behaviour.

Here are a few ideas to celebrate your small achievements:

Reward yourself - this could be getting your nails done, or just a moment with a cuppa and a book.
Create a visual reminder “success jar” where you add a note for each accomplishment, or a chart on the wall, where you can see progress growing in front of your eyes.
Talk about it on your date night with your husband and toast to your progress.

Every time you celebrate, you remind yourself that your efforts are worthwhile. Before you know it, you'll feel able and ready to tackle some larger goals.

Achieving large goals by taking incremental steps

Make Incremental Changes

Setting a goal that is too large and seems unmanageable can evoke feelings of hopelessness. I recommend taking those larger goals and dividing them into stages. My husband calls them "levels" - So, what smaller goals can we set now, that might make the overall goal seem like the next natural step, rather than a mountain. Talking of mountains - you can't climb mount Everest before first getting to base camp.

It can be helpful to begin to establish daily or weekly routines that align with the life you’re working towards. For example, creating a budget that is reviewed weekly, to prevent lifestyle creep and keep on track of financial goals.

Over time, those small changes compound, creating a happier and more intention focused life.

Remember your WHY

Something that I think is a great thing to do as an expat, is to remind yourself why you moved in the first place. What benefits did you expect the move to have in your life? and are those benefits true now? If the answer is "no", then you might have some work to do to realign with that. It might also be a reason for you feeling discontent.

Sit down with your husband, perhaps over dinner and figure out what needs to be true now or in the next few weeks or months, for you to be back in line with your "why". The why doesn't have to be the same now as it was when you first chose to move, but it does need to exist. Without it, you will drift and remain in discontent.

I actually wrote my why and hung it on the wall, so each day when I'm doing my exercises, its there to remind me. Not only does that spur me on, but it also keeps me focused on the end goal. As Steven Covey says, "Start with the end in mind".

Embrace Gratitude

Gratitude is a powerful tool for shifting your mindset. By focusing on what you have rather than what’s missing, you open yourself up to more positivity and joy. Writing down these things helps it to embed in your mind.

Each day, write down three things you’re grateful for. These could be as simple as a sunny day or a smile from a stranger.
Show appreciation to those who’ve supported or encouraged you, even in small ways.
Ask yourself, “What did I learn from this?” Gratitude doesn’t mean ignoring difficulties but finding value in the experience.

As an expat, gratitude helps to remind you how fortunate you are to have been given the opportunity, and that you have been lucky enough to be in a position to accept it.